hmmm

with my first university project, i had created a blog for my character, on this amazing blogging site :)

now to make the character seem realistic i had to update her often and use pictures.. everything a blog should have and involve.

But me in real life, i seem to forget, and don’t ever know what to put. 

i would really love to blog everyday and something good and happy but truthfully its hard to put that through into what i do, as i find it hard to be dishonest, even to people i don’t fully know :(

but i don’t feel i have anything interesting to put.

i see all my lovely beautiful followers and the people i am  following with amazing images on their posts , and clothes blog and with everything else, and i look at mine and think.. should i really bother?

i dunno…

Sigh

all i ever seem to blog about is how down i'm getting.
like today i had an okay time in work and it wasn't too bad until i get to the end of my shift as a headache occurs and and leg and back ache for being stood in one position for 4 hours.
and then i go and do a family shop after working and i don't mind helping my dad out as its just easier with a few of us.
so shopping was me my bf my dad and my brother.
towards the end of the shop he goes to my bf wow there isn' t much food in there just a lot of crap.
the thing is i mainly live on chips. i have been like it since i was two and am slowly eating more, unfortunately it is a phobia and hard to over come.
anyway he was on about my food.
so we get home and the food he is complaining about he cooks and feeds to his daughter!!!!!
now i really don't mind my niece eating it, i really don't as she is hungry and its her bedtime soon.
but when he has constantly been winging about how shit my food is and how he wouldn't touch any of the food and yet he feeds it to his daughter.
it just winds me up as he constantly goes on about how he is so much better than me in food and TV and games etc etc.
when all he is, is a hypocrite!!!!!
sorry i'm just very tired, and don't feel well. and yet whenever i get home i get greeted by this or bullying. the numerous times i've been twat called a is really getting to me.
it hurtful and he doesn't give a shit.
he's 28, has a 6 year old!! he needs to move out and be in control of his own house. as he isn't in control of this one no matter how much he thinks it.
he says i need to grow up but i disagree it needs to be the other way round!!!

one step forward, two steps back!

well as  officially today i am on top off all my uni work, and don't have any projects for awhile :) kudos to me.

only thing is it seems that every time i manage to bring myself into a happy state something just goes and knocks me straight to the floor. each and every time!

and every time it gets a little harder to get back up.

i just feel lethargic and tired, and weak and sad. 

i just don't know how to get out of this. 

i really really can't!!!

and on top of it all i'm not sleeping and i keep getting terrible headaches, i just don't know how to fix it.

Good Times :)

well last night i spent my evening with one of my best friends.
i think it was something we both really needed, as we both needed to get a lot off our chest, and just have some real girly chit chat time.
i have missed her to pieces as she went to Cardiff in september and this is the first time i have seen her, but i dont mind as i did get to see her and she loved her christmas present :) which is what matters :)
xx